My 12 year old (and to be honest 13 -18ish) self did not want to be a mother. I felt like it would be the end of a creative and fulfilling life. I anticipated a great career, a life of traveling through Europe and the rest of the world, enjoying fancy parties and hanging out with fantastic friends. I also felt an enormous burden would be placed on me by having children and being their source for secular and spiritual enlightenment. By nature I am a mothering type. Responsibility ways very heavily on my shoulders and the thought of shaping the minds of little ones and being responsible for the outcome was something that terrified me. I was willing to forgo that experience. Sad...but it was true.
However, years change a person. I guess that's by design. I still have some of the reservations that I had as my younger self (it's still a huge responsibility and I'm acutely aware of how imperfect I am) but I've taken the plunge and would not go back for the anything in this world. What I thought would be an end has only been the beginning. I learn new things and see the world from a different perspective, a child's perspective, which may possibly be the sweetest, most beautiful way to see this world.
I may never go to Europe or see the pyramids of Giza and I will never have the grand, high-paying career that I anticipated as a child. What I have is an extraordinary, life-long career as a mother - the single greatest career and purpose of my life.
4 comments:
This made me cry. So touching and such a wonderful and honest perspective on motherhood and just womanhood in general. Thanks for this. :)
That is so sweet Amy,. I couldn't have asdked for a better mother for my sweet little Grand daughter. Luv you both ( and Nathan too) xoxoxo
Thanks Dana. It made me cry too. :)
Thanks Laurie! That means the world to me!
It is amazing how children change our lives and our perspectives. Suddenly giving up some things like a big house or a fancy career don't seem like the biggest sacrifices we will ever have to make, but rather missing out on the precious day to day moments with our little ones becomes the greater sacrifice. Sweet words and congratulations on #2!
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